This May I turned 49, sitting on the brink of 50. I don't feel that old, truth be in my mind I feel about 10 years younger than that. But in many ways, the past month has been a turning point for me, and I think it's time to start tracking the journey again. Something tells me my life is about to pick up pace, and when I look back, I want to be able to relive every moment.
I had a huge 'ah-ha' moment in May. I'm not sure if it's something that God has been trying to get me to understand for years, or if it's just that I was finally in the place he wanted me to be, so that I could finally see. Either way, doesn't really matter, just an interesting reflection. Either way, my eyes were finally opened that little bit more and my life has been changed forever. Isn't it amazing how God works?
So, what was my great revelation? It was the simple fact that God does all the hard work!
How many times have I read that Jesus says 'my yoke is easy and my burden is light' (mt 11:28-30)? But now I realize that these are not just nice, feel good words. Jesus puts action behind his words. He stands behind them. How complicated I have made my life, how much stress I have brought upon myself.
Suddenly, I really listened to a sermon and God showed me that it doesn't matter where I work, it doesn't matter where I live - he is in charge of all that and will make sure that I am where I am supposed to be. My job is to get up each day and focus only on that day. Forget about yesterday and tomorrow. As long as I do what God has set before me to do today, I will look back fondly on my yesterdays and my tomorrows will sort themselves out when they get here.
Okay, sounds good, but what does that mean?
Well, it means that I need to start each day on time. I need to get up and spend time with God - reading my bible and praying. I need to ask God to show me my tasks for the day. Some are straightforward and do not really change. For example, Monday to Friday, I need to get up and go to work. While at work, I need to focus on my job and do my best. That is all. As long as I am working to the best of my ability, it doesn't really matter what gets done and what has to wait for tomorrow. God will work that out because he has purposefully set me in that job. And if that's not where he wants me to be, he will move me to the right place. I now realize I don't have to worry about it, that's God's job.
Okay, but I'm a Christian in a secular workplace, so that's pressure right? Isn't it my job to always be on my best behaviour so that people will see Christ through me? The bible talks about all that 'fruit of the spirit' stuff. God has given me a huge responsibility, hasn't he? Well, here is the best part of what I learned - no that's God's job too. I don't have to WORK at demonstrating the fruit of the spirit. As long as I'm getting up and doing the tasks already outlined above, the Holy Spirit will work in me - because I've invited him to - and he changes me from the inside out. He creates the fruit of the spirit in me, day by day.
Okay, so there is one more catch. There's always a catch, isn't there? But it's one that I can live with. The one other task that I have to do each day, is to not procrastinate. Anyone who really knows me (like my family) know that I'm very bad at putting things off. So that is my area of focus - to do things when I think of them, or when I'm shown by the Spirit. And that takes some prayer and focus, but so far it's been going pretty good. The first part is that I've set a time to get up each day and have made a point to do it. On days when it's a struggle, I get up and tell God it's a struggle, or I tell him I'm tired. I admit my weakness and ask God for help. And so far, each day, he has come though.
Take today as a example. I got up and while I was reading my bible, and focusing on the past week, the thought suddenly came to me that I need to pick up the blog again. Perhaps my life is about to pick up speed and I should be documenting it. Not really sure why that came to me, I haven't thought of this blog for a long time. It was 2007 when I last posted to it. But why doesn't matter, I don't need to worry about that. And then my next thought was that I have a busy day ahead and would think about doing that tonight. But then it started nagging at me - see it was my natural nature to procrastinate. But God knows me, he made me the way I am, after all. So it started nagging at me, to the point I realized I needed to do it now, so here it is - my first 'come back' post. Hopefully, and with God's help and blessing, it will be the first of many.