Another September comes to a close...

Well, it seems like fall is making its appearance. This week is in the 20's but there is still that crispness that heralds the coming of the cooler seasons. The end of another summer. The weather wasn't the best this year but it was a great summer nonetheless. Lots of time spent around the pool & the fire pit. Visits with friends and family. The usual outings such as the CNE and Tiff. 

This was a memorable summer for us in so many ways. The trip to the Middle East, Jessica's move to her own apartment, and Robert's move into a missionary capacity, our trip to Chicago and the time spent together. The great send off. Now as we move into fall the house is emptier as the chicks learn to stretch their wings and fly. Lord I so thank you for the wonderful blessing of family that you've given me. They are so precious and far outweigh any hardship I may have endured. I thank you that both the kids reach out to you in trust and faith, waiting on you for direction. What a blessing to my mother's heart. 

And then there's Derek, my life and soul mate, made and set aside specifically for me, my perfect match. Lord I pray that one day the kids will each have their own chance to experience these joys of family for themselves. 

Lord as we enter the next busy season - both in time and in our lives - I pray that your favor would be upon us. Be with us at home, at work and in our various communities, working in and through us. Help us to demonstrate your love to our families. Be with me over the next few months as I travel for work. Be with Jessica in her new job and I pray you would bring good Christian contacts into her life Lord. Give her a desire to seek out a church. May Robert's experiences be an inspiration and tool for you to speak into her life.

Lord I also lift up Robert and all his house mates. Lord be with them, direct them, strengthen them and keep them safe. Work in the hearts of those in their community that the word they deliver would not come back barren but would take root and grow. Lord we lift up Robert's financial support need and trust that you will move in a mighty way. Lord you are the great provider and we are trusting you to meet his all his needs, while teaching him at the same time as you showed me clearly you would. 

Just Say "Yes"

My kids started it... when they were young and they were trying to convince me to agree to something... they would urge me "Just say Yes mommy". I can still hear their young voices saying that to me. Who knew at the time that eventually I'd hear God's spirit urging me "Just say Yes"

But these days I hear it more and more. And I hear him reminding me that he loves me and who asks someone they love to do something bad? After all, would I ask my kids to do something that wasn't good for them or that I knew would turn out great? No, I wouldn't and neither will God.

Last fall, I found myself looking for an opportunity to serve him more. I had been asking him to show me where I could be used and was feeling a bit frustrated at not getting an answer. One weekend we were at the offices of our national Christian broadcasting station. They were celebrating a big anniversary as well as hosting an exhibit of the Jewish tabernacle. Great exhibit, by the way. Anyway , we were in the hallway waiting for our tour to continue when our guide pointed out that we were standing next to the prayer centre, where operators mann the prayer phone lines 24-7. As I stood there, I swore I heard a small voice in my head saying "that would be a good place for you to help me". What, no that couldn't be. After all, I'm the person who HATES talking on the phone. And I like praying in private, not in public. Besides, my prayers are more like conversations with God, not traditional 'pray for you' prayers. And remember that friend who once started their training and said how scary & HEAVY it was? How could that be where you want me to serve?? I'm pretty sure I heard that wrong.

So, I continued on the tour and went home, never saying anything to my husband of what I had felt. But there was that nudging that just wouldn't go away. That sense of unrest, of something hanging, waiting to be completed. I stood it for a couple of days, and could take it no longer. I gingerly told my husband I was thinking about maybe volunteering on the prayer phone lines. I was waiting for it - quite eagerly actually - for his response of disbelief, his assurances that this really didn't fit me and was I sure it was for me. where would I find the time?. Disappointingly, it never came. Instead I got, "Wow honey, that's great. You've wanted to get involved somewhere for a while now." Hmmm, what's with him??? I thought he had my back, does he want me to fail? Or was maybe God really nudging me in this direction. Could I have heard right?

Well, I'm happy to say that I tested the idea on a few more people, and stepped out in faith to say "YES" to God. I was able to do the training at home and scored perfect on each of the 10 segments except for one. Funny thing about that one - I think it was around segment 6 - I was feeling that God was being a bit smug about it all. See, not only can you do it but you're aceing it! So around chapter 6, even though I originally picked all the correct answers on that one too, somehow I talked myself into considering the question from a different angle that could - just possibly - if you looked at it from just this angle - make this other answer equally right. And so, for that segment I managed a 9 out of 10. See God, not entirely perfect ;-)

I now, one night a week after work, am blessed for a few hours to listen as people open up and share their lives, their struggles and their hopes with me. They give me the honor of sharing a prayer with them, sharing verses that God puts on my heart for them. It has been the most wonderful experience and God is always there to give me the words, the insight and the verses to share with the callers. I feel that he has equipped me perfectly for this role. The other thing that amazes me is how the directs the calls to the prayer partners. More times than not, I will hear a prayer partner on a call and think "Oh, not sure how I would have answered that one" and I listen to the person who got the call go on to relate in some special way to the callers need. God's presence in that room and with those phone calls is so evident that it takes my breath away and leaves me in amazement.

Think of all that I would have missed had I talked myself out of saying "Yes". Our Father is not going to ask us to do anything we aren't capable of doing, He prepares us and gives us the tools we need to do the task requested. Praise God!!

Chapter 1 Questions - Never Say Diet
What do you want to change and why?

1. Beyond losing weight, what do you most want to change about your life? I really want to be more self-disciplined. I want to be able to  reflect on each day and know that I strived to be the best I could be
2. Are you willing to do whatever it takes to see certain areas of your life undergo radical change? If you're not yet willing, what is holding you back? This is a scary question and truthfully I'm afraid I will fail, but I know that this is where God is leading me and I have faith that he will help me through. So my answer has to be YES.
3.  When in your life have you felt the most hopeless? Are you now ready to move past those scars and never look back? I felt the most hopeless before I accepted Christ. Since then I've had my ups and downs but have never felt like there was no hope the way I did before Christ. For me the question is more am I willing to now take the next step in my growth as a Christian and never look back. Again, my answer has to be YES,
4. When you gained weight in the past, what factors caused you to lose your focus on health? I think if I am truthful it really comes down to a pattern of laziness and self-indulgence, combined with a sense of  fatality.
5. Identify 3 reasons or influences from the past that convinced you that you couldn't achieve permanent life change. After considering these reasons, can you now admit that they were merely excuses? I like the wrong type of foods too much, I feel I can't live without them forever. It's easier to just eat what I feel like, we're busy and its hard to cook good meals every night. I deserve to have nights off and that leads to eating the wrong foods. I've always had issues with food, to be slim would mean starving and depriving myself. My weight gain was due to medications and beyond my control. I'm hopeless and just can't permanently lose weight. Yes these are all excuses although the thought of giving up the foods I love is hard. I know I need to get healthy to live the life I want to live,.
6. Think about the necessity of changing your mind before you change your body. Do you agree that lasting change begins on the inside? As you consider being the best you can be, are you ready to work from the inside out? YES and YES.
7. A total life change involves your body, mind and spirit. Do you accept the role  that faith plays in the process of changing your life for good? Yes, that is something I have no doubt about and God has brought me to this point so he will not quit until he has perfected the good work that he has started. This is probably the only thought that makes me really hopeful that I can finally change and that this book can help me.
8. When have you been held back by a fear of failure? Write down your biggest fears in this regard. As you face your fears, can you decide to let them go and give your all to permanent life change? I basically fear failure, that this is just too good to be true and like all the other times, it may be successful for a time but eventually I'll just end up back in the same place I am now. I am fearful of letting myself down again, of feeling like a visible failure to my family, friends and colleagues. I am afraid I can't do it. I remember when I first accepted Christ I had similar fears, that it wouldn't last and I'd fail yet again,. With Christ my faith has never waivered and I recognize the changes he's  brought about in other areas of my life. I know that it's God bringing me to this place and time, and that gives me the courage to stand up to my fears and push past them. Oh, and I'm petrified of the exercise that will be part of the program, but I know I have to just suck it up and strive to be the best I can be. Please Lord, make this work!